Children learn how to think and act by the words that run through their heads. These words are internalised by what they see and hear from us! These words determine a child’s confidence level and how they internally talk to themselves.

It is clear and crucial, that as parents then, we ask this question – how do I talk to my kids?

By using positive wording, we are helping our kids to act confidently so that they feel capable in a wide variety of situations. Teach your kids what you want them TO do in situations, instead of what NOT to do.

Here are some simple, yet effective examples.

Instead of saying:
“Don’t run in here.”
Say:
“Remember to walk in here.”

Instead of saying:
“Don’t swear at school today.”
Say:
“I want you to be kind to others and friendly at school today.”

Instead of saying:
“Don’t drop that glass. If you do, there will be trouble.”
Say:
“Hold on to that glass carefully. It is a very special one”

Instead of saying:
“Don’t run across the road.”
Say:
“Always hold my hand when crossing the road and stay be my side.”
It is obvious that the words they hear are rehearsed in their minds. If mum says, “Don’t drop that glass” that is what the child thinks about when carrying the glass, and chances are they will drop it! If they hear “hold on to it carefully”, they are focusing then on doing exactly that.

The benefits to this approach are huge. Not only are we putting positive thoughts into their minds, but also providing them with useful information to store away for future reference.

Joss Daly is a primary school teacher and a mum. She likes to share valuable tips and information for parents on how to talk to kids. Visit her website http://www.KidsTalk.smmsite.com for more great ideas.